All I Want Is To Take Shrooms and Listen To the Color Of Nazi Screams by John Baltisberger

That title’s a mouthful, right? Well, I challenge you to come up with a more appropriate title for the book after you’ve had an opportunity to read it. This is going to be a challenge to review because it’s so many different things. There’s so much going on within these pages. At the core, it’s a collection of short fiction and poetry, much of which is focused on kaiju–I’ll return to that later. But this collection is unique in that it’s assembled in a framing story that tells us a colorfully embellished autobiography of Mr. Baltisberger himself.

Colorfully embellished is certainly one way to describe it. This is the autobiography of John Baltisberger if he took off the restraints that civilized society has shackled him with. There is violence galore–violence we certainly hope isn’t an accurate representation of John’s life. If it is, then we should probably keep our mouths shut and let him go about his business. Because his business is killing neo-Nazis, fratboy rapists, corrupt police, klansmen, and other people the world might be better off without…and ingesting copious amounts of hallucinogenic substances. Of course, as we learn later on, much of his attention has shifted to focus on his intensely sexual relationship with his loving wife and the fantastic daughter they’ve produced. But maybe there’s still room for killing bad guys. There’s always room for that, right?

So, regarding the kaiju-focused short fiction and poetry. A few years ago, Mr. Baltisberger offered to write personalized kaiju poems or stories taking place in locations of your choosing. I was one of the individuals who took advantage of that offer, and I was pleased to see that the brief tale was included in this collection. They’re a lot of fun, and it’s hard not to enjoy giant monsters going on monstrous rampages as such creatures are wont to do.

One feature that stood out for me was roughly two-thirds of the way into the book, where there’s a hugely epic poem that will surely satisfy fans of Baltisberger’s stand-alone poetry. It tells a tale of history and war, intrigue and mysticism. That alone is worth the price of admission. It is best thought of as admission because Baltisberger is going to take you on a dizzying, kaleidoscopic thrill ride that rivals anything you’ll find at Six Flags.

You can also find this title, along with many others by the same author as well as the publisher, Planet Bizarro Press, by going to http://www.godless.com or following the link below:

You Will Be Consumed

What you’ll find in the pages of You Will Be Consumed is a cosmic horror, splatterpunk extravaganza that blends unsettling set pieces with dark humor. The novella was released on May 15th of 2021 through Madness Heart Press. It’s meant to introduce readers to the world of The Hungering Void, a connected sequence of novels, novellas, and short stories showcasing my fictional portrayal of our world going to hell in a very real sense. This novella serves as the first glimpse for many into the nature of gods and demons in what will be a larger fictional environment.

While investigating a series of peculiar and unsettling deaths in Denver, two deeply flawed detectives learn there might be no salvation for any of us.

What have readers had to say? I’m glad you asked. Check this out.

You Will Be Consumed by Nikolas P. Robinson

You Will Be Consumed is also available in audiobook format with narration provided by Jenna Green.

May Cause Unexplained Ocular Bleeding

May Cause Unexplained Ocular Bleeding is my newest collection of short fiction, released on August 20th, 2021 (on Godless August 18th). Almost exclusively focused on extreme horror and splatterpunk, with a bit of bizarro and nihilism thrown in for flavor, this collection contains ten stories, including the Godless Horrors hit, Horseplay.

From the gruesome, unfiltered imagination of Nikolas P. Robinson comes a collection of ten stories ranging from the brutal and bleak to the bizarre and surreal. In these pages, you’ll witness a drunk driver experiencing consequences worse than anything he could have imagined. You’ll see what happens when a beloved pet is accidentally sacrificed, opening the gates of Hell. And that is only the beginning. It gets worse from there.

You don’t have to take my word for it. Here are what better writers than I have had to say about it:

“Nikolas P. Robinson might possibly be the Neil Gaiman of extreme horror.” – Carver Pike, Splatterpunk Award nominated author of The Slaughter Box

“Imagine attending a party where—depending on which room you enter—you might get the best lay of your life, witness something unspeakable that might scar you for life, or get physically beaten within an inch of your life. That’s what reading this story collection feels like—though not necessarily in that order.” – Adrian Ludens, author of Bottled Spirits and Cobwebs

Here’s what other readers have had to say.

The title is available in digital formats through http://www.godless.com for a full $1 cheaper than you’ll find the digital title on Amazon. Just check out the following link:

May Cause Unexplained Ocular Bleeding by Nikolas P. Robinson

Man, Fuck This House by Brian Asman

When the Haskins family moves halfway across the country from their previous lives in Columbus, Ohio, no one would’ve expected the dramatic changes that accompanied their move into the new home. It begins almost immediately, as little things change and strange messages appear, but it gets weirder from there.
As the atmosphere becomes increasingly surreal and unsettling, it’s the strained and peculiar relationship dynamics within the Haskins family that accelerate everything. The odd occurrences grow more sinister as the story progresses. In large part, thanks to Damien’s need to torment his mother out of bitterness that she’s always suspected him of being a monster. Hal’s thinking his wife’s losing her mind doesn’t help, either.
Sabrina is not a particularly bright woman–in addition to being both scatterbrained and indecisive–but the bizarre apparitions and wish-fulfillment manifestations are not symptoms of insanity. Unfortunately, it’ll probably be too late by the time the rest of the family figures that out.
Asman has crafted a wholly unique haunted house story, turning the whole thing on its head and steering readers toward a climax no sane reader would see coming. It’s both amusing and perplexing along the way, and–as one should expect from Asman–the characters are so thoroughly captivating that they draw the reader in just as effectively as the narrative itself.
If you want to avoid spoilers, you should probably stop here because I can’t avoid saying things that will ruin some of the surprises.
This is indeed a haunted house story–in a whole different sense. A house that’s haunted by the neglect and mistreatment of its former resident in the same way a person can be haunted by their earlier life experiences. Much like a person troubled by trauma, the house seems to go a bit overboard, overcompensating when it thinks it might have found someone who can love it for what it is. With a single-minded, short-sighted fixation on Sabrina and her well-being, the house itself might be acting with questionable judgment.
That questionable judgment becomes readily apparent as the house uproots itself and storms through town like the most unlikely kaiju ever, heedless of the damage it causes along the way.
The moral of the story is that houses need love too.