All I Want Is To Take Shrooms and Listen To the Color Of Nazi Screams by John Baltisberger

That title’s a mouthful, right? Well, I challenge you to come up with a more appropriate title for the book after you’ve had an opportunity to read it. This is going to be a challenge to review because it’s so many different things. There’s so much going on within these pages. At the core, it’s a collection of short fiction and poetry, much of which is focused on kaiju–I’ll return to that later. But this collection is unique in that it’s assembled in a framing story that tells us a colorfully embellished autobiography of Mr. Baltisberger himself.

Colorfully embellished is certainly one way to describe it. This is the autobiography of John Baltisberger if he took off the restraints that civilized society has shackled him with. There is violence galore–violence we certainly hope isn’t an accurate representation of John’s life. If it is, then we should probably keep our mouths shut and let him go about his business. Because his business is killing neo-Nazis, fratboy rapists, corrupt police, klansmen, and other people the world might be better off without…and ingesting copious amounts of hallucinogenic substances. Of course, as we learn later on, much of his attention has shifted to focus on his intensely sexual relationship with his loving wife and the fantastic daughter they’ve produced. But maybe there’s still room for killing bad guys. There’s always room for that, right?

So, regarding the kaiju-focused short fiction and poetry. A few years ago, Mr. Baltisberger offered to write personalized kaiju poems or stories taking place in locations of your choosing. I was one of the individuals who took advantage of that offer, and I was pleased to see that the brief tale was included in this collection. They’re a lot of fun, and it’s hard not to enjoy giant monsters going on monstrous rampages as such creatures are wont to do.

One feature that stood out for me was roughly two-thirds of the way into the book, where there’s a hugely epic poem that will surely satisfy fans of Baltisberger’s stand-alone poetry. It tells a tale of history and war, intrigue and mysticism. That alone is worth the price of admission. It is best thought of as admission because Baltisberger is going to take you on a dizzying, kaleidoscopic thrill ride that rivals anything you’ll find at Six Flags.

You can also find this title, along with many others by the same author as well as the publisher, Planet Bizarro Press, by going to http://www.godless.com or following the link below:

The Naked Clone: A Nick Nolte Mystery By Conor Lastowka, Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, & Sean Thomason

Fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) and RiffTrax are sure to recognize some of the names associated with this fantastically bizarre Hollywood mystery. Those same fans are sure to find a treasure trove of hilarious–and deeply unsettling–glimpses into the life of Mr. Nick Nolte, People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive (1992).

Imagine, if you will, Nick Nolte decided he wasn’t going to come back from his temporary exposure to homelessness when he was preparing for the 1986 classic, Down and Out In Beverly Hills. Imagine he decided that living on the streets of Los Angeles was preferable to the lifestyle of an A-list celebrity and that life as an indigent private detective might just be the life for him. That’s where we find ourselves when we begin delving into the world this collaborative team has created for our perusal.

Studio executives are going missing…and it all has something to do with clones. But there’s no need to worry, Nick Nolte is on the case.

I don’t want to give anything away, because you need to experience this for yourself, but you’ll surely enjoy it as you stumble across a cast of characters you’re familiar with, as we traverse the underbelly of Los Angeles, searching for answers, but finding violence and betrayal…and a fair amount of lunacy.