bizarro

Skullcrack City by Jeremy Robert Johnson

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S.P. Doyle is a banker, and he’s up to some shenanigans when we first meet him. That much should be expected of anyone disreputable enough to become a banker, especially an ex-junkie. An unexpected promotion provides Doyle with an opportunity to set off on a quixotic mission to do some good with his improved access, seeing himself as a hero who can take down the corrupt institution from the inside.
To accomplish his lofty goal, Doyle will need some chemical assistance. Meth, it’s said, is one hell of a drug, but Hex makes meth look positively prosaic by comparison. As Doyle’s consumption becomes increasingly massive, the threads of the conspiracy he believes he’s unraveling within the bank’s records grow more convoluted and seemingly absurd. With Deckard, his pet turtle, as the only voice of reason in Doyle’s life, nothing is stopping the erratic and manic banker from slipping off the rails.
Unfortunately for Doyle, the conspiracy he’s stumbled across is far more sinister and far-reaching than even his feverish, drug-addled imagination could conceive.
Before long, Doyle’s swept up in a dizzying world of occult forces, reality-bending drugs, insane body modifications, corporate assassins, near-immortal doctors performing unspeakable experiments, and giant gorilla-like monstrosities–referred to as Skullcrackers–who speak with the voices of the dead. What possible chance could Doyle and a small band of resistance fighters have when struggling against such insurmountable odds, at least without making sacrifices that test the limits of what it means to be human?
Jeremy Robert Johnson has created a lunatic narrative that defies genre, incorporating elements of horror, science fiction, bizarro, and crime fiction into a captivating melange that’s sure to make any reader feel like they might be on the same drugs as the unlikely hero. The most amazing accomplishment of Johnson’s Skullcrack City is that the diverse threads of this story remain straight and easy to follow, a testament to the author’s extreme skill and attention to detail.

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Man, Fuck This House by Brian Asman

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When the Haskins family moves halfway across the country from their previous lives in Columbus, Ohio, no one would’ve expected the dramatic changes that accompanied their move into the new home. It begins almost immediately, as little things change and strange messages appear, but it gets weirder from there.
As the atmosphere becomes increasingly surreal and unsettling, it’s the strained and peculiar relationship dynamics within the Haskins family that accelerate everything. The odd occurrences grow more sinister as the story progresses. In large part, thanks to Damien’s need to torment his mother out of bitterness that she’s always suspected him of being a monster. Hal’s thinking his wife’s losing her mind doesn’t help, either.
Sabrina is not a particularly bright woman–in addition to being both scatterbrained and indecisive–but the bizarre apparitions and wish-fulfillment manifestations are not symptoms of insanity. Unfortunately, it’ll probably be too late by the time the rest of the family figures that out.
Asman has crafted a wholly unique haunted house story, turning the whole thing on its head and steering readers toward a climax no sane reader would see coming. It’s both amusing and perplexing along the way, and–as one should expect from Asman–the characters are so thoroughly captivating that they draw the reader in just as effectively as the narrative itself.
If you want to avoid spoilers, you should probably stop here because I can’t avoid saying things that will ruin some of the surprises.
This is indeed a haunted house story–in a whole different sense. A house that’s haunted by the neglect and mistreatment of its former resident in the same way a person can be haunted by their earlier life experiences. Much like a person troubled by trauma, the house seems to go a bit overboard, overcompensating when it thinks it might have found someone who can love it for what it is. With a single-minded, short-sighted fixation on Sabrina and her well-being, the house itself might be acting with questionable judgment.
That questionable judgment becomes readily apparent as the house uproots itself and storms through town like the most unlikely kaiju ever, heedless of the damage it causes along the way.
The moral of the story is that houses need love too.

Effucuss by Tim Eagle

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In the third installment of the Vasectomus Trilogy, Tim Eagle brings us back around to Charles Effucuss, the former courier who supplied Sabre with the fluids he required for his parasitic children.
While “Chuckles” was a bit player in the original story, Effucuss fleshes him out in detail. From the moment he begins buying drugs from Sabre, the small-town dynamic of Stevats begins to feel like a force of destiny. Coincidences and happenstance proliferate his everyday life, propelling the young man on a collision course that will take him from isolation and sexism, through the shattered remains of Sue and Sabre’s doomed marriage, to a peculiar sort of fatherhood.
The bizarro and body horror elements from Vasectomus are back in full force in this conclusion to the trilogy. As Eagle takes the components he introduced and amplifies them for this final tale, we’re left wondering how and why all of these events came to pass. But perhaps it’s best not to question these things.

Effucuss was released as part of the 31 Days of Godless event at http://www.godless.com for October of 2021. You can find this story for yourself by going to the website or by downloading the Godless app to your mobile device. The link is below:

Effucuss by Tim Eagle

Walking Free by Tim Eagle

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Tim Eagle’s Walking Free reintroduces us to Sue, sometime after the events of Vasectomus, as she’s about to participate in a peculiar ceremony, presumably something isolated to the town of Stevats. We find her wearing a mask as she takes her turn to publicly share her stories of Sabre. Sue joins in a ritual with other residents who gather together near a bonfire to share these often unflattering and purgative tales that wouldn’t be appropriate at a funeral.
Sue’s life before Sabre appears to be one of success and upward mobility, with a bright future ahead of her until she decides that she’s missing only one thing, a family. Unfortunately for Sue, Sabre wasn’t the best choice with that future in mind.
We discover that she knew of Sabre’s machinations and that she was pulling strings to get what she wanted long before the events of Vasectomus took place.
And though she’s a widow now, is it possible she might just have the family she was searching for, despite Sabre’s protestations?
This middle story of the Vasectomus trilogy wasn’t quite as peculiar and captivating as the first installment, but the ending certainly provides a snapshot containing a healthy dose of bizarre and unsettling family.

You can pick up Walking Free and the other two volumes of the Vasectomus Trilogy by going to http://www.godless.com or by downloading the Godless app on your mobile device. The link is below:

Walking Free by Tim Eagle

Vasectomus by Tim Eagle

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In Vasectomus, Tim Eagle invites us to spend some time with Sabre and his wife. They’re an unhappy couple fueled by acrimony and bitterness. The primary source of spite between the two is Sue’s unrelenting insistence that she and Sabre have children and Sabre’s unflinching contempt for the whole concept.
A peculiar encounter with the old woman next door interrupts the couple’s most recent argument, and from there, Vasectomus leads us along a strange path blending bizarro and body horror.
Eagle gives us a story of secrets, lack of communication, and backstabbing that befits the most absurdly over-the-top soap opera marriages. That is, assuming those soap operas are written by the likes of David Lynch or David Cronenberg.
In the first of three tales, Vasectomus introduces us to the strange town of Stevats and the residents living there. Eagle manages to entice readers to return, against all better judgment, by sharing with us a place that thankfully can only exist in the feverish imagination of its author.

You can pick up Vasectomus as well as the two sequel stories by going to http://www.godless.com or by downloading the Godless app to your mobile device of choice. The link is below:

Vasectomus by Tim Eagle

Alien Sex Fluids: Experiments 1 through 3 by Reekfeel

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Attempting to provide a traditional review of Reekfeel’s three Alien Sex Fluids titles would be to perform a disservice. It could be argued that this is simply me attempting to rationalize the fact that I am in no way capable of properly reviewing the material contained within these shorts.
Packed with a sort of free association or stream of consciousness writing that more accurately resembles poetry than narrative prose, Reekfeel’s Alien Sex Fluids plays fast and loose with both language and structure. One almost has simply to let the words–the sounds and visual elements implicit in those words–flow over and around them, dragging the reader along through the cacophony of it all.
The free-flowing, anti-literature qualities are most pronounced in Alien Sex Fluids: Experiment 1, where we’re introduced to Nyarlathotep of Lovecraftian fame, and reinterpreted by the author. This is not the being/creature/god as good ol’ Howard Philips wrote it, but rather a mischievous and whimsically cruel thing prone to juvenile outbursts and toilet humor.
We are also introduced to the beings/people ostensibly conducting the experiments–or are they the subjects of the experiments?–named after various elements of the periodic table. We’ll get to know them in greater detail in further installments of the series.
Reekfeel also takes this time to introduce us to the inhabitants of the garden, strange, child-like creatures without discernable form or function as we perceive it. There’s no conceivable way I could describe the activities during that interlude, and you’ll have to read it for yourself if you want to better understand what I mean.
Alien Sex Fluids: Experiment 2 takes on a more prose-like structure in part, diving more into the narrative elements of the overall story being constructed/deconstructed by Reekfeel. We focus more strongly on Selenium, and it’s a strange reversal of norms that the revelation of a dream is more coherently literary than the surrounding material.
In Alien Sex Fluids: Experiment 3, we get to witness Reekfeel inserting themself into the narrative in a rather tongue-in-cheek sense, providing a sort of halfhearted apology for how challenging it is to follow along with dialogue from Bismuth as an RPG of some kind is being played to assist Selenium(?). Of course, this only serves to upset Nyarlathotep, who is sharing this story with us through Reekfeel as a conduit.
I’d like to say that Experiment 3 continues the more coherent aspects of the narrative as we’d experienced in Experiment 2, but I’d be lying to you, and I’m not a liar! The vast majority of this installment of the series takes place within and is focused around the role-playing taking place, and Reekfeel’s attempt to clear up the mess of multiple dialogues only serves to make it all more of a mess.
It’s virtually impossible, as you might understand, to provide a proper review of Alien Sex Fluids, but it’s worth taking the time to dive into the tumultuous, disorganized, yet strangely calculated and lunatic-by-design story you’ll witness unfolding. This is, after all, something being conveyed to us, through Reekfeel, by the crawling chaos itself. If it weren’t indicative of madness, it wouldn’t be authentic. One thing I can say for sure, there’s a certain brilliance and creative imagination impossible to ignore in the distorted, untethered, insanity of Reekfeel’s work.

Experiment 3 was released as part of the 31 Days of Godless event over at http://www.godless.com You can pick up all three installments of Alien Sex Fluids by going to the website or by downloading the app to your preferred mobile device. The links to the three current volumes are below:

Alien Sex Fluids: Experiment 1 by REEKFEEL
Alien Sex Fluids: Experiment 2 by REEKFEEL
Alien Sex Fluids: Experiment 3 by REEKFEEL

The Second Cumming Book 2: The Games Begin by Matthew A. Clarke

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Clarke doesn’t exactly tell us how the games begin, skipping forward to the tail end of Jesus announcing the list of dead, with only 72 surviving terrorists in the battle royale.
Before we join back up with the ANTs, we spend a little while with Al-Queefa, learning through violent bloodshed what it means to have a Wild Card introduced to the game.
When we finally rejoin the Anti Terrorists, we learn a little bit about Scat’s life story before discovering new horrors amidst the roving bands of terrorists.
Impatient for his sweet release, will Jesus keep ratcheting up the danger as he struggles to avoid becoming nothing but cum?
Matthew Clarke follows up his first installment with this exciting and amusing continuation of his Second Cumming series. It’ll be nice to see where all of this is leading.

You can pick up this excellent bizarro series for yourself by going to http://www.godless.com or by downloading the Godless app. The link is below:

The Second Cumming Book 2 (The Games Begin) by Matthew A. Clarke

Sweet Shot by Todd Love

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Byron Sweet is a killer with a signature style.
Haunted by the accidental death of his mother, Sweet forged himself into a professional killer, but he’s a killer with a conscience. But, like all assassins–and all men–inevitably do, he’s reaching the point when he won’t be able to perform. Planning to retire, Sweet is called into service one last time with the promise of a massive payday. Will this “sweet shot” be his last?
Does this sound like a well-trod path full of tropes and stereotypes?
Of course, it does.
But Todd Love excels in subverting those tried and tested tropes the story leans into, by filling the interstitial space with so much creativity and sheer absurdity that no amount of catering to preexisting conventions could detract from the tale. Byron Sweet is no grizzled government assassin you’ll find in the pages of pulp suspense novels or big-budget action thrillers. He’s a man you’ll only ever find in the realm where indie horror and bizarro overlap.
While a sequel certainly isn’t likely, I would love to read a whole series of novels focused on the life and work of Byron Sweet. I think you’ll feel the same way after you’ve been turned inside out by his “sweet shot” too.

Sweet Shot is a Godless Horrors original short. You can obtain this title for yourself–at no cost–by visiting http://www.godless.com or by downloading the Godless app to your mobile device of choice. The link is below:

Sweet Shot by Todd Love

The Second Cumming Book 1: All Outta Virgins by Matthew A. Clarke

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Look at the person to your right.
Now, look at the person to your left.
Both of them are terrorists.
Also, you’re a terrorist.
In Matthew A. Clarke’s The Second Cumming Book 1: All Outta Virgins, that’s the world we’re living in. Everyone has become part of one faction of terrorists or another. That includes the ragtag members of ANT (Anti Terrorists) we come to know during this first installment in the Second Cumming series. Believe it or not, that is the least crazy element of the story.
What we have here is a non-stop barrage of bizarro, both in imagery and in substance. One of the protagonists is a sentient, humanoid pile of shit, after all.
The best part is that all of this is only the beginning.
All of this is nothing more than the setup. The story takes off when Jesus shows up–oozing cum from every hole in his body–with a mad proposition and a whole lot of violence in mind.
Clarke has masterfully crafted a violent, pornographic satire, blending The Passion of the Christ with Battle Royale.

You can pick up your own copy of Clarke’s first installment in this new series at http://www.godless.com or through the Godless app. The best part is that it’s free. He’s giving you a taste, just to get you hooked…much as a drug dealer might. The link is below:

The Second Cumming Book 1 (All Outta Virgins) by Matthew A. Clarke

You Will Be Consumed…by This Riveting Tale

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Ignore, if you can, the “For Rectal Use Only” sticker I’ve affixed to the cover of this proof copy of my novella, You Will Be Consumed.

I know it’s difficult.

Some of you might find yourselves asking whether that’s a reference to the contents being best suited for use as toilet paper. I can assure you the paper utilized in printing this book is definitely inferior to most toilet paper on the market. You may find yourself wondering if I’m implying that you should attempt to roll the book into a tube of sorts for rectal insertion. I don’t recommend that. You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife. You may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?” If those things are true, you’re probably somehow existing within the amazing song Once In a Lifetime by Talking Heads.

At this point, I’m sure you’re wondering what the hell this post is all about. You’re not alone. I think I might have forgotten that salient detail as well.

Of course, I’m joking.

I just wanted to remind you that it’s time to pick up your own copies of You Will Be Consumed…and the amazing publisher I worked with on this title, Madness Heart Press, has guaranteed that there are outlets available for anyone.

Amazon, of course, is available as an option:

You can also purchase the book in either physical or digital copy directly from the Madness Heart Press website at the link below:

You Will Be Consumed

However, if you’re interested in a digital copy of the novella, and you really don’t want to support Amazon…but you do want to show support for indie authors and small press publishers of horror titles…there’s another place you can go.

Drew Stepek, a fantastic author and an avid supporter of the indie horror literature scene, has assembled something amazing.

Check out Godless at the following link:

You Will Be Consumed by Nikolas P. Robinson

While you’re there…please spend some time perusing the available titles. This is a great distribution option for small presses, self-published horror authors, and fans to come together without Amazon lining their already bulging pockets in the process.

That’s all.

I wanted to peddle my new novella some more, and I really wanted to encourage everyone to visit Godless.