Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero, Narrated by Kyla Garcia

One of my favorite things about Scooby-Doo was that the monsters, ghosts, and ghouls were never real. It was always just some creep in a costume, usually undertaking some ridiculously convoluted plot to fulfill their capitalist desires. When the more recent Scooby-Doo cartoons and movies came out, I was disappointed to see that there were real monsters involved. The creators seemed to lose track of the whole purpose behind the originals. That being said, if the monsters have to be real for the purpose of the story, Edgar Cantero gets it right.

Meddling Kids takes those teen mystery stories we loved as children–at least I did–and pays homage to them while also playing tongue-in-cheek with the tropes. The Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, and Scooby-Doo are blended together in this story, with a healthy dose of H. P. Lovecraft thrown into the mix.

Thirteen years after the Blyton Summer Detective Club solved their final mystery, the awful truth behind that caper rears its ugly head, forcing the surviving members to question whether they’d gotten it right after all. Sure, they’d apprehended a crazy old man in an absurd costume, and they’d gone on with their lives. But what if there was something more lurking beneath the surface? What if there was some unspeakable horror operating behind the scenes at Sleepy Lake? And did their proximity to something truly not-of-this-world leave a mark on the children that haunts them into adulthood?

This is where the story begins. From there it’s a humorous and heartfelt tribute to characters that bear a strong–and entirely intentional–resemblance to the ones Cantero created for the book. The mystery behind the mystery provides ample opportunity for (often calamitous) investigations, red herrings, and the emergence of a new bad guy who makes all their previously tackled foes seem like child’s play. It’s a good thing the young detectives are now young adults because what they’re forced to face is something no child is prepared to confront.

Kyla Garcia’s narration is excellent and conveys the humor and horror of the story as well as one could hope.

Man, Fuck This House by Brian Asman

When the Haskins family moves halfway across the country from their previous lives in Columbus, Ohio, no one would’ve expected the dramatic changes that accompanied their move into the new home. It begins almost immediately, as little things change and strange messages appear, but it gets weirder from there.
As the atmosphere becomes increasingly surreal and unsettling, it’s the strained and peculiar relationship dynamics within the Haskins family that accelerate everything. The odd occurrences grow more sinister as the story progresses. In large part, thanks to Damien’s need to torment his mother out of bitterness that she’s always suspected him of being a monster. Hal’s thinking his wife’s losing her mind doesn’t help, either.
Sabrina is not a particularly bright woman–in addition to being both scatterbrained and indecisive–but the bizarre apparitions and wish-fulfillment manifestations are not symptoms of insanity. Unfortunately, it’ll probably be too late by the time the rest of the family figures that out.
Asman has crafted a wholly unique haunted house story, turning the whole thing on its head and steering readers toward a climax no sane reader would see coming. It’s both amusing and perplexing along the way, and–as one should expect from Asman–the characters are so thoroughly captivating that they draw the reader in just as effectively as the narrative itself.
If you want to avoid spoilers, you should probably stop here because I can’t avoid saying things that will ruin some of the surprises.
This is indeed a haunted house story–in a whole different sense. A house that’s haunted by the neglect and mistreatment of its former resident in the same way a person can be haunted by their earlier life experiences. Much like a person troubled by trauma, the house seems to go a bit overboard, overcompensating when it thinks it might have found someone who can love it for what it is. With a single-minded, short-sighted fixation on Sabrina and her well-being, the house itself might be acting with questionable judgment.
That questionable judgment becomes readily apparent as the house uproots itself and storms through town like the most unlikely kaiju ever, heedless of the damage it causes along the way.
The moral of the story is that houses need love too.