poetry

Bringing Some Mania To the Media, Gushing With Gallows Humor

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

It’s no surprise to anyone who has worked in Journalism (or had loved ones who have) that people working in the Media either develop a dark sense of humor over time or have one to begin with. Gallows humor isn’t uncommon in people who experience physically or psychologically stressful and challenging situations in their line of work. It’s something that research has consistently shown to be true for Medical Professionals, First Responders, Veterans, Journalists, and others who regularly encounter difficult and unpleasant things in their line of work.

This makes perfect sense, considering the well-established connection between humor and stress reduction, as well as the impact it has on depression and irritation. Dark Humor is, for many people, a Coping Mechanism that helps to stave off depression and distress in response to traumatic experiences, and not exclusively those associated with one’s occupation. It’s been compared to “whistling past the graveyard” by some.

Several studies have been conducted on the correlation between Dark Humor and Trauma, available from organizations such as the National Institutes of Health and the American Medical Association. The overall effectiveness of this kind of outlook (as far as catharsis is concerned) is debatable, but the prevalence is undeniable.

That being said, my tendency toward Gallows Humor can run a bit darker and deeper than most. Some of that could be related to my secondary career as a horror author and a certain desensitization that goes with intentionally exploring some truly taboo and horrific topics, as well as the worst aspects of my own human nature. It could be a result of Childhood Trauma combined with my career choices. It could be something in the way I’m hardwired. I do know that my greatest enjoyment concerning jokes and comedy has always leaned in that direction, at least as far back as I can recall. My suspicion is that (at least in my case) it’s a combination of all of the above that influences my brand of humor as it stands today.

One of the ways my humor manifests in my career as a Journalist is in a fascination with both alliteration and rhyme, especially in places where it’s thoroughly inappropriate. Some of my colleagues can appreciate my perspective, and even the inherent humor behind my statements and suggestions, while others find it perplexing and in poor taste. I suspect some of the latter individuals would find themselves less shocked by my occasional outbursts and the like if they’d been working in the industry longer than they have.

When I was still working in Western South Dakota, during the late summer of 2022, there was a murder that took place at a mobile home in Box Elder, the town that is butted up against Ellsworth Air Force Base. I typed up a quick Limerick and sent it via text to my News Director so that it would be the first thing she’d see when she woke up for work that morning. I received a one-word response a short while later, “No!”

Naturally, I wasn’t sincerely going to incorporate anything like the following rhyme into my scripts for the Newscast, but that didn’t change how amusing I thought it was to imagine doing so.

There was a middle-aged man in Box Elder.
He hated a woman and felled her.
He’s under arrest.
Despite his protests.
He was caught trying to run from the trailer.

In May of this year, Oregon Governor Tina Kotek declared the month to be Wildfire Awareness Month. When we were covering the story, I suggested a poem for the reporter we were assigning to it. I don’t consider the following poem to be particularly dark, but I understand how and why it was nevertheless unacceptable in practical terms.

Top fire officials share an outlook that’s quite concerning…
Offering tips to keep Oregon’s forests from burning.
Governor Kotek signs a new declaration.
Wildfire Awareness Month is her creation.
The fire cache is stocked up with much-needed supplies.
What you can do to avoid a scorching surprise.

There are several more incidents of me attempting to insert levity where most people would insist it does not belong, and I suppose I should share a few more examples. Some of these may be a bit grim, while others (I insist) are simply funny.

It was May of 2024 when Washington’s former Attorney General, Bob Ferguson, was campaigning for Governor. A Republican activist recruited two men, also named Bob Ferguson, to campaign as Democrats as well, going so far as to pay their filing fees and handle the registration of their campaigns. Those two fraudulent campaigns were ultimately withdrawn from the race because it’s a Class B Felony to intentionally mislead or confuse the election as they were. I put the story together for my Newscast and suggested that I should use a graphic saying, “Two Bobs, One Gov.” The way I looked at it, anyone who picked up on the reference to “Two Girls, One Cup” wasn’t likely to complain about it.

In October of 2024, one of our reporters provided a multi-part explainer on how the new Ranked-Choice voting process works because Portland had implemented Ranked-Choice for the Mayoral Race. When he was delving into how tabulation of the results would be performed, I opted to tease the story with, “What to expect when you’re electing.”

That same month, there was an Officer-Involved Shooting in a Taco Bell drive-thru, and I suggested we should lighten the tone by saying the individual who was shot had been trying to make a run for the border. I wasn’t alone in making bad jokes associated with that particular incident. Things like Glock-o Bell may have been tossed around for our amusement.

In November of last year, I found a story from Alaska about a beached fin whale near Anchorage. Part of the story focused on a mother who homeschools her children, and how she used the carcass as supplemental material for biology lessons. While putting the story together for my Newscast, I added a graphic that said, “A Whale Of a Lesson,” and I’m still pretty proud of that.

In April of this year, we were discussing updates to the police investigation of a mother and her children who were found hanging in their home a couple of weeks earlier. It wasn’t a quiet environment when I muttered (thinking it was only to myself), “I’m just hanging with my family this weekend.” It was, however, quiet enough that one person did hear what I said, and their response seemed to display both appreciation and shock at what I’d just said.

There is a walking trail near where I live in Vancouver, featuring various gnome figures and fairy gardens, because several children use that path to get to school. It provided a little bit of magic as kids made their way to and from school, and the nearby community put a fair amount of time and effort into contributing to those additions to the trail. People being who they are, it’s no surprise that someone came along and started destroying the gnomes, and I proudly wrote a script that said the community intended to fight back against the “gnome wrecker.”

It wasn’t long ago that we learned of a sperm race taking place at the Hollywood Palladium in LA, complete with a tiny racetrack and high-resolution cameras monitoring the speed and motility of the sperm cells facing off head-to-head. We chattered about that on and off for a couple of hours, leading to a deeply unserious environment. One of our photographers said he could fly down to LA to shoot the event, and I asked if we could refer to that as a new form of “skeet shooting.”

From what we were seeing, the main event appeared to be a contest between sperm from a white man and a black man. I asked how long it would take for the racists to start in with accusations of “fast-twitch flagella.”

Some of these are dark, and some are inappropriate, but they’re also emblematic of what it can be like to work in the field that I do. This may go some way toward explaining my attitude at times when I’m discussing politics and other topics as well. Combined with my deeply-rooted cynicism, my tendency to find humor in things that might not be inherently humorous occasionally causes issues for me in my personal life, more often than my professional one. There’s a degree of amusement to be found in my professional environment being where some of my least professional comments are the most acceptable. But, the reality is that we understand one another there, and we understand how some of the things we expose ourselves to would wear us down far more quickly if we didn’t find a way to laugh through the pain and whistle past the graveyard.

All I Want Is To Take Shrooms and Listen To the Color Of Nazi Screams by John Baltisberger

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

That title’s a mouthful, right? Well, I challenge you to come up with a more appropriate title for the book after you’ve had an opportunity to read it. This is going to be a challenge to review because it’s so many different things. There’s so much going on within these pages. At the core, it’s a collection of short fiction and poetry, much of which is focused on kaiju–I’ll return to that later. But this collection is unique in that it’s assembled in a framing story that tells us a colorfully embellished autobiography of Mr. Baltisberger himself.

Colorfully embellished is certainly one way to describe it. This is the autobiography of John Baltisberger if he took off the restraints that civilized society has shackled him with. There is violence galore–violence we certainly hope isn’t an accurate representation of John’s life. If it is, then we should probably keep our mouths shut and let him go about his business. Because his business is killing neo-Nazis, fratboy rapists, corrupt police, klansmen, and other people the world might be better off without…and ingesting copious amounts of hallucinogenic substances. Of course, as we learn later on, much of his attention has shifted to focus on his intensely sexual relationship with his loving wife and the fantastic daughter they’ve produced. But maybe there’s still room for killing bad guys. There’s always room for that, right?

So, regarding the kaiju-focused short fiction and poetry. A few years ago, Mr. Baltisberger offered to write personalized kaiju poems or stories taking place in locations of your choosing. I was one of the individuals who took advantage of that offer, and I was pleased to see that the brief tale was included in this collection. They’re a lot of fun, and it’s hard not to enjoy giant monsters going on monstrous rampages as such creatures are wont to do.

One feature that stood out for me was roughly two-thirds of the way into the book, where there’s a hugely epic poem that will surely satisfy fans of Baltisberger’s stand-alone poetry. It tells a tale of history and war, intrigue and mysticism. That alone is worth the price of admission. It is best thought of as admission because Baltisberger is going to take you on a dizzying, kaleidoscopic thrill ride that rivals anything you’ll find at Six Flags.

You can also find this title, along with many others by the same author as well as the publisher, Planet Bizarro Press, by going to http://www.godless.com or following the link below:

All I Want is to Take Shrooms and Listen to the Color of Nazi Screams by John Baltisberger

The Ecstasy of Agony By Wrath James White

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

Brutality, poetry, sex, and wry humor are swirled together in a dizzying cacophony of horror in a way that could only come from Wrath James White. As much fun as it is to run a marathon, by delving into his longer-form fiction, there’s something truly delightful about accompanying the man on a sprint–or a series of sprints, as is the case in The Ecstasy of Agony.

I’d previously had the pleasure of reading a couple of the stories in the anthologies where they’d first been published, and the even greater pleasure of hearing him recite a couple of the poems that he’s included in this collection, but there was so much more in store. From a fitness routine adopted to survive a zombie apocalypse, to a violent video game that feels all-too-real, to the tale of a man who uses his penis as a weapon, this collection has a little bit of everything. If you’re familiar with White’s work, you really should have some idea what to expect.

It’s not all violence and gore, though. There are strangely touching and somber tones within the cacophony, including a sad reflection on how “dead or in prison” can turn out and how a monster can experience a change of heart. That isn’t to say there’s any shortage of violence, gore, sex, and body horror all throughout…because it just wouldn’t be Wrath James White without it.

A masterful collection by a masterful writer, but trigger warnings are in order–this is not for the overly sensitive reader.

Errata: Collected Short Fiction and Poetry

/ MeltdownMessiah / 1 Comment

Errata: Collected Short Fiction and Poetry was released in 2016, collecting in one volume eight short stories I’d written and released digitally as well as a collection of poetry that had been released as A Wreck In Progress a short while before Unspoken was published.

There is no connecting thread between the included stories, spanning genres from gritty crime drama to bizarro extreme horror. Topics run the gamut from the final scenes of a slasher narrative to the terrifying isolation of interstellar space. There is something for everyone, from fans of horror to those who enjoy hard science fiction.

This collection contains eight short stories spanning subjects from gritty crime drama to the terrifying isolation of interstellar space. There is something for everyone, from fans of horror to those who enjoy hard science fiction.Additionally, this volume includes the author’s collected poetry previously available as A Wreck In Progress.

Winterset Hollow by Jonathan Edward Durham, Narrated by Jonathan Edward Durham

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

Winnie-the-Pooh and The Wind In The Willows collide with The Most Dangerous Game and Animal Farm in Durham’s Winterset Hollow. Exciting, surreal, and defying all expectations, the author has crafted something both somber and thought-provoking.
John Eamon Buckley and his two closest friends join a group of fellow fans of Winterset Hollow to embark on a pilgrimage to the isolated island home of the children’s poem’s author, E. B. Addington. The crowd of friends and strangers couldn’t have prepared for–and never imagined–how intimate their glimpse into Addington’s life would be.
What follows is a dizzying upheaval of everything they thought they knew and understood about the world around them. Awaiting the fans is a dark and scathing denunciation of the history they assumed to be true and a personal journey for Eamon as he discovers his connection to the beloved childhood story is deeper and more horrible than he’d suspected.
The poem at the heart of Winterset Hollow is something I could imagine published on its own, and I could understand how the fictional characters might have cherished its captivating story.
It’s the larger narrative, beautifully written and complete with its damning subtext of the evils associated with colonization and Westward expansion in early America that I adore, though. It’s so well-written and ingenious in its acknowledgment that Manifest Destiny and the American Dream were constructed on a substrate of nightmares levied against all those unfortunate enough to be in the path.
The audiobook narrated by Jonathan Edward Durham himself was a spectacular way to experience this story, and he managed to capture both the tarnished innocence of Eamon and the bitterness combined with the sadness of the residents of Addington Isle.

Vanitas by The Professor

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

The Professor delivers more than we could have hoped for with his epic poem, Vanitas. With this Robert Browning-inspired poem, he manages to create a vanitas of sorts. Both in the narrative conveyed within the poem and from the reading of the poem itself, the reader is subjected to a consideration of the contrast between life and death.
Subtle nuances in the still life painting of his wife send a Duke down meandering and shadow-cloaked pathways within his bitter and jealous imagination. As the Duke becomes increasingly certain the Duchess has been seduced by the painter, he determines that there might be a bit of artistic sensibility in himself as well.
Was the Duchess scampering through the maze, seduced by whispering promises of what the artist would give her if only he could? Did seeds of this infidelity take root in the soil of her heart where they germinated, decaying the love for her Duke?
Perceiving this rot inside her, the Duke had only one course of action. Of course, it’s always possible the Duke is simply a madman driven to extremes by a jealous nature and bitter envy of the painter’s skill. The truth is something we might never know.
Could this latest release from The Professor serve as a prequel of sorts to the Browning poem, My Last Duchess? Are we reading the sordid details of what transpired before Browning’s poem begins? The Professor may be revealing to us the telltale unfaithfulness captured in the Duchess’s slight blush, sending the Duke reeling toward horrific conclusions with fatal consequences. I, for one, choose to accept this as a canonical antecedent.

Vanitas can be obtained by going to http://www.godless.com or by downloading the Godless app to your preferred mobile device. The link is below:

Vanitas by The Professor

Drops of Insanity by Jeff Oliver

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

Jeff Oliver’s Drops of Insanity is a solid collection of poetry consisting primarily of short poems dealing with a variety of topics. Though largely focused on musings associated with identity and mental illness while navigating society and relationships with those factors involved, there are a great many poems that deviate into assorted horror-themed allegories and expressions of pain and suffering. It’s worth taking one’s time, reflecting on the word choice and symbolism implicit in many of the verses, especially since the vast majority are no more than ten lines in length.
It’s when we reach the longer form poem of “Her Soul To Keep” that the collection stands out at its strongest. A narrative expressed through the verse; this particular inclusion is a fascinating transition from the previous material collected in Drops of Insanity. At the core, it’s a breakdown of family, disappointment, revenge, and choices with consequences we’d not anticipated. It’s also a poem about demonic possession, murder, and the dissolution of the soul in the searing flames of Hell. What could be wrong with that?
While it may feel like this collection suffers from some repetition where content is concerned, I’m inclined to believe this was an intentional flourish from Oliver. Occasionally this repetition appears in the form of epimone, but more often it appears to be a method of creating a sort of cyclic flow to the material contained within Drops of Insanity. Hell is repetition, as we learned from the Stephen King screenplay, Storm of the Century, and mental illness is an exceptionally personal sort of Hell. Looking at it that way, it becomes difficult to imagine Oliver wasn’t attempting to immerse the reader in the overarching theme of this collection of poetry.

Thin Sleep (and Black Thread: A Dark Poem) by Todd Love

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

The lake and surrounding campground are empty as Autumn’s chased all but the locals away. It’s the perfect time for a fishing trip, and Rick, Gary, and Stephen fully intend to capitalize on that isolation as they catch up with one another after years of being caught up in their own lives.
Plagued by nightmares and thin sleep their first night in the tents, the men can hardly wait to get out on the boat on their first day of the camping trip. What they find in the cold water is more than just fish, but that shock is nothing compared to what awaits on the shore.
Will law enforcement discover any evidence of what happened to the missing men? Will we see some hint of light or peace at the end of this tale, or will the reader learn that nothing is quite what it seems in this distant campground?
The reader feels the chill in the air and the terror experienced by the campers as their weekend getaway transforms into a living nightmare. Love breathes inauspicious life into this story just as he does everything else I’ve had the pleasure of reading.
Todd Love always gives us more than we expect with his stories. This story also includes the beautifully sinister poem, Black Thread, with its shifting perspective and unexpected revelation. Love is out to prove to readers everywhere that he knows what he’s doing, and he does it well.

Thin Sleep is a Godless exclusive released for the AntiChristmas event at http://www.godless.com for December of 2021. You can pick it up for yourself by going to the website or by downloading the Godless app to your mobile device. The link is below:

Thin Sleep : Godless Edition by Todd Love

A Predisposition for Madness by Aurelio Rico Lopez III

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

Aurelio Rico Lopez III has provided readers with a robust assortment of free-verse narrative poems. There are literally dozens of stories and set pieces conveyed through poetry in this collection, and it’s well worth the time spent properly digesting each and every one.
A Predisposition for Madness has certainly put this writer on my radar in a good way. In these pages, you’ll discover monsters both human and far from it, you’ll witness new pandemics and sickness ravaging households and the world, you’ll see warfare and apocalyptic scenarios played out, and you’ll encounter things far more challenging to describe. There’s most certainly something in here that will suit the tastes of any reader, assuming that reader enjoys poetry. Even if you don’t typically enjoy it, I’d recommend giving this collection a chance.
The title is an apt one, the cadence of the poems coming across almost as if the stream of consciousness ravings of a madman in a padded cell, alternating between mumbles and screams.

This title was released as part of the 31 Days of Godless event at http://www.godless.com for October of 2021. You can read it for yourself by going to the website or by downloading the Godless app on your preferred mobile device. The link is below:

A Predisposition for Madness by Aurelio Rico Lopez III

The Unclean Verses: Cantos 1 & 2 by John Baltisberger

/ MeltdownMessiah / Leave a comment

Whether you’re a fan of horrorcore rap, brutal poetry, splatterpunk horror, or you simply have an unhealthy obsession with serial killers and the atrocities committed by those degenerates, The Unclean Verses: Cantos 1 & 2 is definitely for you!
I come at this as a fan of John Baltisberger’s poetry–as well as his prose–and this introduction to The Unclean Verses still managed to blow me away.
We’re introduced to a man who feels compelled by demons to perform terrible, violent acts. The descriptive, graphic violence conveyed in verse is so damn impressive, and I’m not just saying that because I volunteered to be one of the victims when Baltisberger was first putting this whole project together. I probably deserved what I got, though, because I feel like I was probably a terrible coworker. I guess maybe I just didn’t have my head in the game.
In a sense, as I wrapped up my reading of Cantos 1 & 2, I felt almost like I’d just read the least remorseful death row confession ever. Imagine, if you will, an unrepentant spree killer or serial killer mocking both the families of the victims and society as a whole by unleashing a hideous, cruel rap detailing his crimes with passionate aplomb. You won’t be far off from what Baltisberger has in store for you with this release.
These first two Cantos will pummel you into submission with the rapid-fire, insidious rhythm by which Baltisberger delivers his barrage of violence and graphic imagery. You’ll quiver with equal parts anticipation and terror, knowing that this is only the beginning.

The Unclean Verses: Cantos 1 & 2 is being released on October 6th at http://www.godless.com as part of the 31 Days of Godless event for October of 2021. You’ll want to pick this one up for yourself by going to the website or downloading the Godless app. The link is below:

Unclean Verses Cantos: I & II by John Baltisberger