April 5th, 2011

I claw at the shadows cast by a me that could have been.

Desperately trying to catch up to where I know I should be now.

I see him in the mirrors when the lights are low enough.

But I can never step through that divide and into his shoes.

I’m chasing the wake left behind by a better man than me.

Will I ever catch up to where I’m supposed to be?

I see him in the reflections in your eyes sometimes.

Is it really me that you love, or is it the trace of him within?

Will there ever come a time when the two of us are the same?

I’m trying so hard, as much for you as for myself.

I don’t know if all that effort will amount to anything.

For you I keep on crawling forward.

I do everything for you.

April 6th, 2011

All my life I felt like I was waiting for something.

Like a pressure building in the back of my mind

I thought that it would be the end of the world.

I watched and waited all these years for some sort of sign.

My eyes were always searching in the wrong places.

I thought it was the end, but it was always you.

I sat here hoping to witness the world burned away.

Instead it was the end of everything I believed was true.

You brought me to my knees like no one else could.

My mind is spinning every time I look your way.

I’m broken down, confused, and scared to death.

But somehow I know that you are here to stay.

You’re the death of who I knew myself to be.

All of my illusions dissipate with you right here.

I’ve become a stranger to myself, someone new.

I am desperate to believe you, telling me to have no fear.